Some Thing Cheesy:: Eggplant Parmesan

Ah, the last supper (you'll forgive the term) of the Nine Days, and what better way to get ready for the fast than a classic Eggplant dish. Of course the REAL last supper before the fast is simply a hard-boiled egg and some bread (traditionally dipped in ashes, but I don't have a good recipe for ashes).

My choice - Eggplant Parmesan, with a definitely Jewish twist.

For starters I slice the eggplant, salt it liberally, and let it sit for an hour. I've been told its an old wive's tale that you have to do that ... well, guess I'm an old husband.

Now for the Jewish magic - the breading. Matzoh meal! And in fact not just any old matzoh meal this time. I still have some 18 minute and Shumrah Matzoh meal left over from Passover, just begging to be used.

Added to the Matzoh meal - a pile of wheat germ (for a delicious nuttier flavor and some obscure health reasons), a bunch of sweet Hungarian Paprika, and if I have any around some garlic powder (usually I only have 'real' garlic on hand). The eggplant is then washed off, coated with the matzoh meal mixture, dipped in beaten egg, and then coated again in the matzoh meal.

Next we brown it in hot oil - Canola is my suggestion (Wesson brand today).

To put it all together we need some sauce and cheese. I use about a quart of tomato sauce per eggplant, and the choice of sauce is endless. Tonight its Marinara, another time it might be garlic and mushroom, etc. First a little sauce in the bottom of the pan, then a layer of the fried eggplant, then more sauce to cover. Next comes a layer of sliced mozzarella cheese. Now a second layer of fried eggplant, sauce to cover it all, a final layer of sliced cheese. Finally, at my wife's suggestion, a sprinkled of mixed shredded mozzarella and cheddar. In all two eggplants, two quarts of tomato sauce, about 12 ounces of cheese (six slices of packaged sliced mozarella, since in this burg I can't get fresh sliced), a handful of shredded cheese, to fill a half steam table tray.

About 45 minutes in a 325F oven (I use a toaster oven for dairy) ... and perfect eggplant parmesan. Well, I hope its perfect.

For sides ... choose a veggie, a salad, perhaps some pasta ('m partial to green noodles in garlic butter sauce). Ah...and some Merlot to wash it down.

Soylent Brown Balls

As promised, it being the Nine Days (see an earlier post of mine for a brief discussion of the culinary constraints of the Nine Days), it is time for meatLESS balls. Or, as I call them, Soylent Brown Balls.

Plus, of course, pasghetti (as my nine year old grandson calls those long stringy pieces of pasta).

Now I have nothing against soy, mind you. I do eat lots of it. Soylent Brown, Soylent White, you name it. But while I don't object to a soyburger or, you'll pardon the description, kosher fake "bacon," there almost something sacrilegious about SoyBalls. Especially on pasta, as opposed to perhaps a SoyBall hero.

Still, what's a guy to do during the Nine Days - so here we go.

My choice of brand of Soylent Brown for this meal was LightLife's Gimme Lean. And indeed it is "lean," containing zero fat. But we'll change that in a little bit - after all, it is fat that gives real meat a bunch of its flavor.

For the record, what is in GimmeLean is: water, soy protein concentrate, tapioca starch, soy sauce (water, soybeans, wheat, salt), soy protein isolate, dried onion, wheat gluten, malt extract, beet powder, natural flavors (from vegetable sources), spices, and vegetable gum.

All of which adds up to 7 grams of protein for what they call a serving (2 oz), so a real serving is even more. And the maybe 500 mg of sodium in the size serving I dish out isn't all that bad either. Not great, but I've seen worse.

The folks at Lightlife imagine you can take their product and roll it into little balls, brown them, and eat them. I guess some folk might like that, but not to my taste. I add roughly the same stuff that I add to chopped meat when I make meatballs: 1 egg per pound of meat (er soylent), enough wheat germ (Mother's) to maintain a nice texture, chopped garlic (yep, I cheat a bit and use Christopher Ranch pre-minced garlic) for some great flavor, and a bunch of Hungarian sweet paprika both for more flavor and color. One could add any of a variety of other spices as well, based on taste.

Now its time to make the Soylent Brown Balls - I get about 20 out of a 14 ounce package of LightLife's Soylent Brown (which they claims is equivalent to a pound of beef before its cooked).

The rest is child's play - brown the balls in hot oil (Olive for flavor or Canola if you wish). Drop browned balls into your choice of tomato sauce.

Serve on Pasghetti - my choice for this meal a whole wheat linguine made in Italy. A nice green salad on the side, perhaps a choice of steamed veggies.

Ah, and Chianti, if you can find kosher Chianti in your neighborhood. I settled for a beer, though.